Ever felt unwanted?

Today I came across this article Child asked to leave restaurant over facial scars from dog attack

It took me back to a situation we experienced a few months prior to Kaleo's diagnosis. We had to attend a meeting at Leilani's school regarding the upcoming statewide exams. The meeting was held in her classroom and was full of parents. We took our seats and Kaleo who was about 15-16 months sat in his stroller and was babbling to himself-he was nonverbal at that point. We were there about half an hour before we were asked to leave because Kaleo was "talking" too much. I will repeat my prior statement- he was nonverbal at that point. We were confused, taken aback and frankly hurt by the actions of her teacher. That same night I wrote her an email

Her teacher did not respond to this email...I then followed up with another email telling her I wanted to have a meeting with her. She eventually did respond and we set up a date to meet. When I showed up to the meeting the assistant principal joined us. Long story short..they both apologized for what happened. I made sure to let them know that the actions of the teacher were highly unprofessional. I told her if she had the secret as to how tell a toddler to be quiet and have them fully comply then she should let the rest of us in on the secret. Again, this was prior to Kaleo's diagnosis but I already knew something was going on with him.

I continue to experience the stares and unsolicited advice from people when Kaleo is having a meltdown. I've become accustomed to it and it doesn't phase me anymore. With that being said this experience on 1/26/12 was the first and last time I have left somewhere because Kaleo was being seen as a nuisance. I refuse to ever be made to feel that way and more importantly have my child ever be made to feel that. Autism rates in the United States are now 1 in 68 children. Awareness, acceptance and compassion need to become part of the human psyche.

A couple of months before that school year ended, Leilani's teacher announced she was pregnant with her first child. I've often wondered if she ever felt what I did that night or if she has ever felt as if her child wasn't wanted.

This is an example of typical babbling Kaleo did at that time

Opinions NOT needed

For the past few weeks Kaleo has had some issue with holding some one's hand. He can start off holding hands but shortly after he will snatch his hand away and insist on walking on his own. If I let this happen he either starts walking away quickly or will even start running. He will be laughing the whole time but will not listen when I tell him to stop. At that point I have to grab him and grab his hand or at least try my best to. He will get very upset, throw himself on the floor and go limp when I try to stand him up. Believe me this is NOT an easy task. Kaleo is only 4 but is a big boy. At the rate the meltdowns are going and how I physically need to pick him up, I fear my back won't make it much longer. I then have to pretty much let him stay on the floor and let him work it out on his own or try my best to get him to comply. So I have resorted to going back to the stroller in order to keep him safe and to also keep my back intact. If I'm out of commission there's no one else to care for Kaleo and Leilani.

Today we went at the post office to pick up a package. As we were walking home a lady was near us who was speaking extremely loud on her phone. I tried my best to ignore her, Kaleo couldn't so instead he covered his ears. As she is walking past us she looks at Kaleo and says "you are way too big to be in a stroller" then looks at me and says "put that boy to walk" while laughing. Well she was the only one who was laughing. I glared at her and it took everything inside me to not let her have it, although I soooo wanted to. I chose not to entertain her asinine comment with a response. 

It always amazes me when people can just make comments or give their opinion on situations they know nothing about. Does ME pushing MY child in a stroller have any effect what so ever on your life? Does it change anything within your world? I'm pretty sure it doesn't but it does have a major effect on mine. Any clue what that could be??? It's pretty darn simple really. It can be summed up in 4 words. KEEPS-MY-CHILD-SAFE......Tada!. 

 I know that I could've said to her "he has autism and likes to run. This is how I keep him safe" but in that moment I choose that it was best to just walk away. Kaleo was already covering his ears because of the volume of her voice and should that interaction have gone south it was only going to upset him more. So loud lady on the street and all the future 'loud ladies'  I'm sure we will encounter in the future. Today I let it slide....next time I won't. It is not your place to spew your opinion on others when said opinions are unsolicited. You do not know the struggles and battles my child is facing. Yes, he does look like a typical child ... but there are disabilities that can't be seen.